Lost Innocence
by coppertop1
Summary: Tracey Davis is 14 and about to learn some hard life lessons
1. Prologue

Chapter Six

Tracey mounted the Hogwarts Express and retreated to a compartment alone. It could not have been a stronger contrast to the beginning of the year, where she shared a compartment with her "friends" and they gossiped about boys. As Tracey left the train, she could see some people including a formidable-looking witch and a horse-faced Muggle giving her disapproving looks.

A few days after Tracey arrived home for summer, she had another appointment with Madam Nurturessa.

"Well, everything seems fine, baby appears healthy, in a head first position, at this point," said Madam Nurturessa as she looked at the picture of the ultrasound.

"That's good," said Tracey's mother.

"So the baby is due in about six weeks," said Madam Nurturessa. "But be on the alert, teen pregnancies carry a risk for premature labour."

"Is that likely to happen?" asked Tracey, looking scared.

"It's a risk, doesn't mean it will happen and at this point, the baby would be premature but viable outside the womb, odds are he would survive," Madam Nurturessa replied. "Just drink lots of fluid, and avoid stress. Get plenty of rest."

"Woah, he's grown," said Tracey, surprised at the size of the unborn baby.

"He has," agreed Madam Nurturessa. "You mentioned adoption was your first instinct last time, are you still thinking about adoption or have you decided to keep the baby?"

"I'm still thinking about adoption," Tracey replied. "It's just hard to imagine carrying a baby this long and giving him up."

Tracey's mother put her arm around her daughter.

"I know," said Madam Nurturessa. "Well, you can speak with the adoption agencies. Arrange meetings between couples wanting to adopt."

"Okay," said Tracey.

"At this point, I would suggest someone stay home at all times, just in case," said Madam Nurturessa.

The next day, Tracey's mother went over to the Dunstan Adoption Agency to arrange a meeting for Tracey.

"How old is your daughter?" asked Mr Dunstan.

"Fourteen, she'll be fifteen in November," replied Tracey's mother.

"Ah," said Mr Dunstan. "I feel for you, and your daughter. I have a teenager; she'll be sixteen in a few days. I can't imagine what I'd do if she got pregnant. It happens though, unfortunately. How is she coping?"

"She was angry at everyone at first, but settled down and has been trying her best to deal with it," replied Tracey's mother. "She's doing the best she can."

"It's tough," he said. "When these kids get pregnant, what it comes down to is they have to make a mature, adult type decision at a very young age. When is she due?"

"Six weeks, but we're on alert in case of early labour."

"Right. Well, I'll be over tomorrow afternoon to talk to her about it," he said.

"Okay, thanks," she said.

She returned home and told Tracey the adoption counsellor was coming over to talk to her about the adoption process.

"Are you sure this is what you want?" asked Tracey's mother. "Because it's completely your choice, and we don't want you do this because you think you've disappointed us and it's what we want or because you're doing it out of fear."

"No, I'm sure—or sure as possible," Tracey said.

"Whatever you decide, we support you," said Tracey's father. "You know that."

Tracey nodded then asked, "Do you think it's selfish?"

"What, giving the baby up for adoption?" asked Tracey's mother.

"Yeah," she said.

"Of course not, it's your choice, and I think it's a very unselfish decision, and a brave decision. You're doing what you think is best for the baby, and that's all we can ask," said Tracey's father.

Mr Dunstan arrived the next afternoon. Tracey wanted to look at least somewhat mature for a fourteen-year-old, so she could make a good impression on both him and any family she interviewed.

"Come in. We appreciate you coming over," said Tracey's father. "Tracey is upstairs."

Mr Dunstan went upstairs, Tracey's father followed.

"Hello again, thanks for coming over," said Tracey's mother, who was sitting next to her daughter. "Thanks for coming."

"No problem," replied Mr Dunstan. Tracey set down the magazine she was looking at and sat up.

"Have a seat, Mr Dustan," said Tracey's mother.

Mr Dunstan sat down on the couch opposite of Tracey and Tracey's mother.

"Hello, Tracey," said Mr Dunstan.

"Hi," Tracey said politely, feeling somewhat nervous.

"So, I know this isn't an easy decision so I'm here to explain the decision and hopefully put your mind at ease about the process for you and your baby," he said. "First off, you're fourteen, right?"

"Yeah," replied Tracey. "My birthday is in November."

"And when is your due date?" he asked.

"July twenty-fifth," replied Tracey.

"Boy or girl?" asked Mr Dunstan.

"A boy," she said.

"And this is your decision, right?"

"Yeah," said Tracey.

"We have made it clear to Tracey right from the start that nothing we feel on the subject should influence her decision," replied Tracey's mother. "That it is up to her, and her to make alone, and we want her to make what she feels is right for both her and this baby."

"Where is the father?" asked Mr Dunstan, though he knew the answer.

"Well, he's decided not to be part of this," said Tracey.

"I didn't know it was a choice," said Mr Dunstan.

"Yeah, I didn't either, must have missed the paper airplane memo," muttered Tracey's father, thinking of what he would like to do to the little punk who did this to his precious daughter.

"I told him I was pregnant, and he just said it wasn't his baby, and I confronted him just before Easter. I don't think he really cares," Tracey said.

"Okay," he said. "Now there are two types of adoption: closed adoption and open adoption," Mr Dunstan said, getting back on topic. "Closed adoption means the agency gets the say, it's unanimous and you don't have any contact with your baby or the adoptive family, if it's an open adoption, you choose the family, and have contact so you can visit your child, get pictures of him, etcetera."

"I think that one sounds good," said Tracey.

"Okay," said Mr Dunstan. "In that case, the families would come over here. You would talk to them, ask them a few questions and find out more about them, so you could decide what family is best for the baby, and arrange a counsellor will help you finalize the arrangements."

Tracey nodded.

"Once you've handed your baby over to the adoptive family, it's permanent, so be sure it's what you want," he advised her.

"I understand," said Tracey.

"The visitation arrangements can be made formal with a counsellor, or you can just agree informally with the family, if you want."

"This family that would adopt my baby- what kind of questions should I ask them?" asked Tracey

"Anything you feel important, things like their own family background and experience growing up is always a good place to start, views on family, things like that," replied Mr Dunstan.

"Would it be inappropriate to ask why they can't have children of their own?" asked Tracey. "Or if they would treat a birth child different?"

"Not at all," said Mr Dunstan. "Nothing is out of bounds, it's your child they're raising, so you want to know all the facts before making a decision," he replied. "And your mother or father can help you interview the parents, if you want."

Tracey nodded. "Okay, that's probably a good idea."

"I'll give you a folder of some couples looking to adopt, and you can go from there," he said, handing her over the brochure.

"I'll send them an owl; telling them they have an appointment with you," he said. "What time is best for you?"

"It doesn't matter, now that school's out. We're home most of the time," said Tracey's mother

"Okay."

The first of the couples to visit were over a few days later. They were a conservative pureblood couple who wanted only a child with magic parents and grandparents.

"What bloodline is this baby?" asked the husband.

"Excuse me?" said Tracey, thinking that's not the first thing that should come to mind.

"You heard me," he said coolly.

"Well . . . I'm halfblood, but the baby will be pureblood . . . I guess," said Tracey, clearly uncomfortable. "His dad is pureblooded."

"All right," said the wife with a note of slight disappointment.

"I thought Tracey was the one asking the questions," Tracey's father pointed out. "It's her baby you want to adopt."

"What are your views on things like discipline?" Tracey asked.

"They talk back they get a silencing jinx," said the wife.

"Any sass, and he'd be subject to a stinging hexes right where it counts," said the husband.

"Parents need absolute control over their child; you don't gain their respect if . . ."

"Okay, okay, thank you!" said Tracey, and she and her parents saw them to the door. She wondered why anyone would choose them for parents. They were scary.

The other couple was nice enough but eccentric, and didn't really convince Tracey that they were right for adoptive parents. She wanted her child to have a more grounded start with a normal family, as opposed to living as bohemians with eccentric beliefs.

The next couple was an extremely wealthy, with more than enough money to give Tracey's baby lots of material goods. They came in wearing furs and diamonds, and designer dragon hide boots.

"We would give him anything he wants, he'd live like royalty with us," the husband told the Davises.

"He _would _be royalty after all," said the wife.

In her mind, Tracey pictured her son growing up selfish, spoiled with no concern or empathy for anyone using people, especially women. The baby would grow up to be just like someone she already knew: his father, who had put her in this situation in the first place! That was the _last _thing Tracey wanted, there was no way she would want her baby to be anything like his father! Maybe Pansy or Cecilia would have chosen them, but not Tracey!

"Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all," Tracey sighed after the interview. "Is it so much to ask for any, oh, _normal _couples who want to adopt? Maybe I am best just to keep the baby and raise it myself."

"If you're having second thoughts and decide to keep this baby, it's up to you," said Tracey's mother. "But we still have one last couple to interview. If none of them are suitable, and you still want to keep him, then you can."

"I'm trying," said Tracey. "I'm not asking for much."

"We know you're trying, Tracey. There are normal couples out there," said Tracey's father.

The last couple was Alexander and Emily Phillips. Emily had two miscarriages, and had given birth to a stillborn baby two years ago. They had a daughter of their own, but all three children they had lost were boys, and they wanted a son as well. They felt adoption was their best option.

"Thank you for seeing us," Emily said to Tracey's mother. "We appreciate it."

"Thank you for coming, Tracey is downstairs," Tracey's mother replied.

They went downstairs where Tracey was waiting.

"Hi, Tracey," said Alexander.

"Hello," Tracey replied politely.

They sat down and started talking.

"First off, we just want to say we really appreciate that you're willing to consider us as parents, and we feel for you," said Emily.

"This can't be easy for you, to carry a child then give it up to someone else," said Alexander. "We sympathize one hundred percent with what you're going through."

"Thank you," said Tracey, thinking maybe she'd finally come across the right couple.

They began the interview.

"How long have you been married?" Tracey asked them.

"Six years," replied Alexander.

"How many children do you have?" asked Tracey.

"Just one daughter," replied Alexander. "She's four."

"Why are you interested in adoption?" asked Tracey.

"I've had two miscarriages, and also a stillborn baby, all of them were boys," said Emily. "There are medicines out there but at this point, I feel that adoption is our best option, plus we always said we'd have a child of our own and also adopt one if we could."

"How do you handle conflict?" asked Tracey's father.

"We don't fight a lot, and we try to avoid fighting in front of our children," replied Alexander.

"Children learn what they grow up with, if they see conflict, they learn conflict," said Emily.

"How would you feel about Tracey visiting the baby?" asked Tracey's mother.

"We could give you an address if you wanted and send pictures," replied Emily.

"We could work something out, I'm sure," said Alexander.

"Would you treat this child any different from your biological child?" asked Tracey.

"Absolutely not," replied Alexander.

"What about views on discipline?" Tracey's father asked.

"Well, if the child acts out, we'd discipline him, things like time out and such. Nothing drastic," Emily assured Tracey.

They asked a few more questions. When the interview was finished, Tracey reached her decision.

"Before you came, I was having serious second thoughts about this whole adoption bit," she said.

"It's understandable," said Alexander.

"Yeah," said Tracey. "Well, I don't any more. I think you guys are great, I want you to have my baby."

"Thank you so much," said Emily.

The family thanked the Davis family and left.

"So you've made your decision?" asked Tracey's father.

"Yes," Tracey said. "I think they're by far the best to raise my baby."

"Okay, as long as you're sure," said Tracey's mother. "I'll write to Mr Dunstan and tell him you've reached a decision."

Tracey did her best to follow Madam Nurturessa's advice by resting and avoiding stress. She also spent much of her time looking up names for her baby. Some names she quite liked others she ruled out quickly.

The baby's due date was fast approaching. In just a few weeks, he would be here.


	2. Chapter 1 Just a girl

**Chapter One**

The dungeon was full of vapour and fumes of potions. People were cutting their slugs and roots for the potions. Tracey felt sick as she worked on her potion with Cecilia Runcorn. She could see Ron Weasley deliberately cutting uneven slices for Draco Malfoy, who had hurt his arm after being attacked by a hippogriff. The potion behind Tracey was giving off a strong scent of sulphur and after a while, Tracey felt like she was about to be sick to her stomach, so she stood up and dashed out of the classroom.

"I'm sorry, Professor Snape!" she said as she ran out.

She found the nearest bathroom and ran in the nearest cubicle. After a few minutes, she settled down and felt somewhat better. In the distance, she heard the bell ring to end class. The door opened and someone walked in.

"Is someone in here?" a girl's voice was asking. Tracey opened the door and looked out. It was Laura Gamp, who was one of the Prefects for Slytherin. Laura was a fifth year. Tracey stepped out.

"Tracey?" said Laura, a bit surprised. "Are you OK? It sounded like you were throwing up."

"I'll be fine," said Tracey, washing her hands. "I was in Potions and the fumes and vapour just hit me, for some reason. I had to make a mad dash to here. It's weird. Normally, the smells don't bother me."

"Could be just a stomach bug." suggested Laura.

"Probably," agreed Tracey. "Maybe I'll just take the day off."

"Yeah," said Laura.

Tracey was OK for most of the day, and was able to attend class. A few days later, however, the bug seemed to come back and hit Tracey harder. Fortunately, it was a Saturday.

"Again?" said Laura when Tracey stepped out of the cubicle.

"Yeah, a bit worse," said Tracey.

Laura looked closely at her. "You match nicely with our house colours right now."

"Thanks," said Tracey. "I'm going to go see Madam Pomfrey."

"Good idea," said Laura. A small voice in her head told her it wasn't a bug; it was something much more serious.

Tracey headed over there; a feeling of unease was starting to sink in. She pulled out her calendar and checked flipped to October and thought back. She seemed to have missed her last two cycles. Her last one was two weeks before the first Hogsmeade trip, which she and Blaise had skipped.

"What seems to be the problem, Miss Davis?" asked Madam Pomfrey when Tracey walked in.

"I haven't been feeling that well," said Tracey, and she told Madam Pomfrey about her symptoms.

"When was the last time you had your menstrual cycle?" Madam Pomfrey asked when Tracey mentioned she had ruled out cramps.

"What? What's that mean?" Tracey asked. She didn't like the sound of that. There was only one reason to ask that question.

"You heard me," replied Madam Pomfrey, giving her a stern look.

Tracey thought back."I think two months ago, why?"

"I need you to lie down," said Madam Pomfrey taking something out a desk drawer.

"What is that?" asked Tracey lying down on the hospital wing bed. Madam Pomfrey waved the instrument in front of Tracey's belly and some smoke came out. Madam Pomfrey gave Tracey a stern look.

"You're pregnant," Madam Pomfrey told Tracey.

Tracey felt like the world was caving in. She felt shocked, sick and confused all in one.

"I'm _what_?" she cried. "No. No, I can't be! That has to be a mistake, I can't be pregnant!"

"You are," said Madam Pomfrey.

"But . . . I'm only fourteen!" Tracey spluttered.

"It's a bit late now to think about that," said Madam Pomfrey, and then she softened a bit. "Who is the father?"

"Blaise Zabini," said Tracey, barely audibly.

"Well, I suggest you tell him. He has a right to know," replied Madam Pomfrey. "And I'll need to tell your parents."

"They'll kill me! They'll throw me out, I know it!" Tracey protested.

"It's the school's protocol, Miss Davis," Madam Pomfrey replied. "They have to know."

"Well, at least they'll pay attention to me," Tracey muttered.

Later that day, Professor McGonagall asked to speak with Tracey and confronted her about the pregnancy.

"I shall speak with Mr. Zabini about this," Professor McGonagall assured Tracey. "I do not hold with the belief that the girl in question is the only one at fault."

"Right," Tracey said, barely hearing what was being said.

"Listen, Miss Davis," said Professor McGonagall, a bit more gently. "You're not the first girl to make this mistake, or the last. Just be sure to take care of yourself, and your life isn't over, you haven't ruined your life."

"I'm fourteen, and I'm pregnant," Tracey said. "Yet you expect me to believe I haven't ruined my life?"

Somehow, she found that hard to believe.

Tracey started the next day off in a daze, still trying to digest what Madam Pomfrey had told her. What was she going to do now? How was she going to face the school? What she going to with this baby? She couldn't raise it; she wasn't ready to be a mother! Her parents were going to kill her! What would the others say when they found out?

Madam Pomfrey told her that she needed to tell Blaise, but Tracey had no idea what to say. Was she supposed to just go up to someone and tell him you were carrying his child? Sure, that worked fine if you were a twenty-something and married. Plus, Blaise hadn't even so much as looked at her since that fateful night (though she thought she saw him turning the moves on the other girls).

Blaise was talking to Draco, Crabbe and Goyle. Tracey walked up to him and tapped him on the shoulder.

"Blaise," she started, struggling to get the words out. "I need to talk to you."

"Busy," he said.

"Now!" she said desperately. "Alone," she added, looking at Draco and his goons. No way would she tell him in front of them. Draco sneered and Crabbe and Goyle chuckled menacingly.

Zabini went with Tracey to an unused classroom, and Tracey closed the door.

"What is it?" he demanded.

Tracey opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out, Blaise looked at her impatiently. She tried again, but she seemed to have lost her voice. After a few tries, Blaise lost his patience and started to leave. As he reached the door, Tracey's voice seemed to come back to her.

"I'm pregnant!" she blurted out, before she even knew what she was saying.

Blaise turned around and looked at her.

"What?" he demanded.

"I. . . " said Tracey, but she couldn't bring herself to repeat it.

"And who is the father?" he asked indifferently.

"Whose do you _think _it is?" Tracey shouted. "You are!"

"It's not mine!" he scoffed.

"What, do you think I've been . . . with other boys?" she asked. "I haven't! It's your baby!"

"You think I am really going to commit to _you_?" he asked disdainfully. "A common half-blood?"

"I'm a _what_?" Tracey echoed, her voice rising. "This is nothing to do with commitment; I'm telling you that I'm pregnant!" she said, becoming somewhat hysterical.

"I'm telling _you_ it's not my problem," he said coldly.

"So . . . so you're just going to just ignore it?" she exclaimed.

"It's your problem, not mine," he replied, unconcerned. "Not my kid, not my problem."

"You're going to make me go through this _alone_?" Tracey shrieked. "After _you _knocked me up? You can't do that!"

Blaise said nothing and walked away. Tracey didn't expect him to be of much help, but to callously say it wasn't his problem? Why did she ever like him?


	3. Chapter 2 Face the music

Chapter Two

Tracey and the other students mounted the carriages to go home for Christmas. This was one trip home Tracey did not want to make. Her parents were going to either kill her or throw her out, and act like they had no role at all for her situation.

"Tracey," said Blaise, going up to her.

"Having second thoughts about this?" asked Tracey.

"You said you want me to help you?"

"Well, yeah!" said Tracey impatiently.

"You can have an abortion," he suggested.

"Where?" she asked.

"My mother knows this place in Knockturn Alley that does abortions," Blaise replied. "I don't know the name of the place."

"Right. Thanks," Tracey sighed. She had thought about an abortion herself, but was she supposed to ask her parents to bring her to Knockturn Alley for one?

The holidays were normally a happy occasion, but this time the house was filled with tension. Tracey's parents could not believe that their fourteen-year-old daughter was pregnant.

"How did this happen?" demanded Tracey's mother.

"You have a kid; don't you know how people get pregnant?" Tracey shot back at her mother.

"Don't take that tone of voice!" warned Tracey's father.

"What were you even doing, having sex at your age? You're fourteen!" snapped Tracey's mother. "You have no idea what raising a child involves!"

"I never said I was keeping the thing!" retorted Tracey, and she stormed into her room. Why did it seem that the only time they ever gave her their full attention was when she was in trouble?

"What's happened to her?" asked Tracey's father, shaking his head. "It's like we barely know her anymore."

"She's a teenager. Teenagers do things that aren't always the brightest; including, well, having sex and getting pregnant," answered Tracey's mother. "We just have to do the best we can, no matter what."

"When she acts like _that_?"

"She's our daughter, Colin," said Tracey's mother. "No matter how she acts or what she does wrong. If we give up on her and throw her out, what would happen? She'd be all alone, nowhere to turn, and it would lead to more bad decisions."

"I know," said Tracey's father. "It's just hard to believe that something like this could happen to us. It's one of those things that you think will never happen." He paused, and looked out into the distance, then sighed. "This is partly our mistake too, Vivien. We should have had a sex talk with her before she went to school."

"Her future isn't ruined as long as this doesn't lead to a downhill spiral. She's fourteen, she still has her whole life ahead of her, and we can still keep her on the straight and narrow," said Tracey's mother. "We just need to make sure she gets the care she needs, and what to do with the baby is her decision, we can't make it for her."

Tracey spent most of the time the next few days in her room, thinking about the abortion that Blaise suggested. It would be so much easier to just go there, have the abortion, and get rid of the thing. That way, she wouldn't have to worry about her parents grilling her, or about the other students finding out and labelling her. Problem was she knew she wouldn't have a chance, and if she mentioned it she knew that her parents would flip out. Maybe she could sneak away to Knockturn Alley somehow?

The next day, Tracey's mother arranged an appointment a gynowitch in London not far from where they lived, to arrange an appointment for Tracey.

"I know this is hard, for you and your daughter," said Madam Nurturessa.

"It is. Be warned, she's mad at the world about this," Tracey's mother sighed warily.

"Not surprising, many teen girls are. Mostly it's a cover because they're scared and confused," Madam Nurturessa said, nodding.

"To her this baby is an inconvenience," Tracey's mother explained.

"Again, not uncommon," said Madam Nuturessa. "They usually come around. Teenagers can try even the patience of a saint, I know. I've raised three. I'll see you and Tracey in a couple of days."

Tracey's mother returned home to tell her daughter about the appointment. Tracey rolled her eyes.

"Do I have to go?" groaned Tracey.

"Yes," said Tracey's mother firmly.

"Why?" Tracey demanded, glaring at her mother.

"Because you are. . . "

"I KNOW I'm pregnant! I found that out by Madam Pomfrey!" Tracey snapped.

"You're coming, you are almost thirteen weeks pregnant, you need to get the care for this baby," said Tracey's mother.

"FINE!" Tracey stomped upstairs.

Tracey's mother sighed and shook her head. Hopefully, when all the dust has settled, things would improve.

Two days later, Tracey's mother and Tracey went over for the appointment. There were a few other women there, but most were in their twenties and thirties. Tracey was the youngest person their by far and it felt like everyone was looking at her.

"Tracey Davis," said the clerk. Tracey and her mother got up and went into the office.

Madam Nurturessa entered the room.

"OK," she said. "So you must be Tracey."

Tracey nodded.

"And when is your birthday?"

"November," replied Tracey.

"November twentieth," said Tracey's mother.

"OK, so you're fourteen?"

"Yeah," said Tracey.

"OK. Tracey, I need you lie down on your back and I'll scan your belly with this instrument. It will conjure up an image of the baby, OK?"

"Whatever," muttered Tracey, but she did as she was told. Her mother gave her a warning look.

Madam Nurturessa scanned Tracey's belly where the ultrasound came up, she told Tracey she could sit up.

"This is the baby, as you can see, is still really small right now, but still looks like a person," she said, giving the picture to Tracey. She looked at it; it did look like a person, just a very small version of one. It slowly began to sink in.

"Do you know if it's a boy or a girl at this point?" asked Tracey's mother.

"It's hard to say but I think I could see something," said Madam Nurturessa. She looked at Tracey, who was still looking at the picture, clearly deep in thought.

"Have you considered your options?" she asked Tracey.

Tracey shook her head. "I really haven't given it much thought," she admitted. "I was hoping it would just go away or there'd be a way to get out of it."

"It's hard to think that far ahead, but there are three things you can do. You could have an abortion if you wanted, they're generally safe. St Mungo's provides safe abortions. But it's best to do that early in the pregnancy so the clock is ticking for that," said Madam Nurturessa. "You could keep the baby if you wanted, and be a mother. Or if that's not an option there's always adoption. Open adoption means you would choose the family to raise the baby and you still get to visit him."

"OK," said Tracey.

"Adoption may be best to look into," suggested Tracey's mother.

"Is the baby's father going to be involved in any way?" Madam Nurturessa asked.

Tracey shook her head. "No. I told him and he just blew it off."

"OK, so it is your decision and it's up to you," said Madame Nurturessa. "I'll give you and your daughter some time alone to talk," she told Tracey's mother, and left.

"OK," said Tracey's mother. She looked at her daughter, who was looking straight ahead.

"Are you ready to talk about this now without yelling and telling me to shut up?" asked Tracey's mother.

Tracey nodded. "Yes," she said in a quiet voice.

"This is a big deal we're dealing with here," said Tracey's mother. "It affects all of us. You know that, right?"

"I know," Tracey replied. "Mum, I'm so sorry."

"Just the way it is when you're a parent," said Tracey's mother. "Good and bad, your children are your children. All we can do is to get through this, one day at a time."

"So, you and Dad aren't mad at me?" Tracey asked tentatively.

"Is this what I had in mind for my little girl? No," Tracey's mother replied. "Am I disappointed that you put yourself in that position? Yes," she said. "But. . ." she looked at Tracey. "Have you learned your lesson?"

"Yeah," Tracey said.

"One mistake doesn't mean it's over, Tracey. It doesn't mean you've ruined the rest of your life."

"That's exactly what Professor McGonagall said," replied Tracey, still not believing it.

"It's true," said Tracey's mother. "You're fourteen, you're still a teenager, and you still have the rest of your life ahead. As long as you learn from this and think about it more carefully in the future, you should still be fine. You're a smart girl, Tracey. And I love you, and your dad loves you. You made a mistake. A big one, but that's all it is."

She hugged Tracey, and this time, Tracey didn't try to fight her off.


	4. Chapter 3 Tiny Life

Chapter Three

January turned into February. At this point, the pregnancy wasn't showing and Tracey wanted to keep it that way for as long as possible. There was no need for the entire school to know she was pregnant.

One day while changing into her school robes, Tracey noticed a slight bulge in her stomach. The pregnancy was slightly more visible. She glanced over at Pansy and her other friends. At this point, they hadn't noticed that Tracey was slightly distracted. They hadn't even asked her why she had been sick before the holidays. They were caught up in their usual shallow gossip, none of which seemed important anymore. After changing into her school robes, Tracey checked herself in the mirror. The bulge was hidden underneath her clothes. No one could see it. At any rate, Tracey was relieved that the nausea was gone, she hadn't been sick since late December. If she had been sick, it would have been a lot more difficult to hide this pregnancy.

That evening, Tracey slipped out of the Slytherin Common Room to take a walk and clear her mind a bit. She went over the Hospital Wing to speak with Madam Pomfrey about this pregnancy now that she had seen for herself what the baby looks like.

"We can discuss it in my office privately," said Madam Pomfrey. "That way, we won't be overheard or interrupted."

"Yeah, good idea," Tracey said appreciatively. She didn't want anyone to hear her discussing her situation. They went into Madam Pomfrey's office. Madam Pomfrey closed the door to ensure their privacy. Tracey sat down in a chair in front of Madam Pomfrey's desk.

"How were your holidays?" asked Madam Pomfrey.

"Pretty bad," Tracey replied truthfully. "My parents just got all angry like I did some horrible thing and like I'm nothing but a disappointment."

"Did they not speak to you about this type of thing?" asked Madam Pomfrey. Tracey shook her head no.

"Have you been to see a gynowitch, Miss Davis?" Madam Pomfrey asked.

"Yeah, I went to see one during the holidays, had an ultrasound," said Tracey. "So I saw that it actually does look more or less like a real person, as opposed to some sort of cells."

"It does," said Madam Pomfrey. "She or he resembles a person very early on."

"He, I think," Tracey replied.

"Who else knows?"

"My parents and that's about it, and Laura Gamp, a fifth year and Slytherin Prefect. I told Blaise," Tracey replied.

"He doesn't care," said Madam Pomfrey, guessing what happened.

"No, just said it's not his problem so I'm not bothering with him anymore," said Tracey.

"A wise decision," said Madam Pomfrey. "So at this point you are around five months along. So the pregnancy is slightly more noticeable, but still not visible underneath school robes. But it is essential you get the proper nutrition for yourself and this baby. You need to drink plenty of milk for both of you to be healthy."

Tracey nodded.

"Have you considered your options?" said Madam Pomfrey. "Since Mr Zabini is showing no interest in the baby, the decision is yours to make alone."

"I'm thinking about adoption at this point," said Tracey.

After the consultation with Madam Pomfrey, Tracey headed back to the Slytherin Common Room. On her way there, she felt what seemed like a kick from inside her stomach. This baby seemed to be growing pretty steadily if it could now move and kick. She wondered how much longer she could keep her pregnancy a secret.


	5. Chapter 4 Friends or Foes

Chapter Four

It was late March. Tracey was beginning to feel more and more anxious. Her pregnancy was becoming more noticeable and she knew that her pregnancy wouldn't be a secret for much longer, and she couldn't help but feel nervous about what the other girls would say when they found out.

"Well, well," Pansy said one night when they were all changing into pyjamas. "If it isn't the happy mother-to-be," she said in a snarky tone. The other girls sniggered. Tracey felt her stomach slip a few notches. They knew.

"Why didn't you share the happy news with us, Tracey?" Cecilia sniggered. "Aren't we your _friends_?"

"What are you talking about?" asked Tracey, trying to sound as offhand as possible despite the deepening feeling that the roof was caving in on her.

"When is your _baby shower_?" Daphne said tauntingly. All four of them were smirking in a smug, nasty manner. A manner that told Tracey that things were about to get worse and she was going to be completely alone.

"God, Tracey. How stupid _are_ you?" asked Pansy disdainfully

"I'm NOT stupid!" Tracey shouted, her arms went instinctively around her stomach, but could not hide the growing bulge.

"You're not?" Pansy scoffed. "I find that hard to believe."

"What kind of a loser gets pregnant on their first time?" agreed Cecilia.

"You are going to definitely ruin your figure now," said Daphne.

"Shut up, all of you!" snapped Tracey.

"May we feel it kick?" said Millicent Bulstrode, reaching out towards Tracey's stomach. Tracey jerked backwards.

"Leave me alone!" shouted Tracey. "I mean it!"

"What's going on?" a sharp female voice said. Laura had just entered; she stepped between Tracey and the other girls.

"Why are you girls arguing?" she asked sharply, looking from Tracey who looked angry and on the verge of tears, to the other girls, who were smirking. "Well?"

"Nothing," said Pansy in an attempt at a sweet voice, but Laura saw through it and glared at her.

"We were just congratulating Tracey on her happy news," added Daphne.

"She's a mummy soon," said Cecilia. They broke into malicious giggles. Humiliated, Tracey fled the dormitory.

"Listen very carefully, all of you," Laura said. "I don't care how special you think you are. This is not acceptable. I know you get a free ride with Professor Snape, but not with me," she said. "I am not tolerating this from you and if this keeps going or gets worse, I will enforce the consequences. That's a warning," she said, and left to find and comfort Tracey.

The girls started again on Tracey, and it was beginning to escalate to calling Tracey names such "slut" or "skank". Laura tried to intervene and they just ignored her. Following through on her warning, Laura went over the Professor McGonagall's study.

"Who is it?" said Professor McGonagall.

"Laura Gamp, Professor," Laura replied, and Professor McGonagall went to the door.

"Miss Gamp, what are you doing up and around the castle at this time?" she asked sternly.

"I'm sorry Professor McGonagall, but we have a situation with the third year Slytherin girls," Laura explained.

"You mean with Miss Davis," said Professor McGonagall.

"Yes, the other girls are bullying her, she does fight back but I can't break it up this time. You're the first teacher that came to mind," Laura said. Professor McGonagall put on her glasses and followed her. "Seeing as Professor Snape doesn't seem to care about his own students—sorry," she added apologetically. "I'm a bit frustrated."

"It's not surprising," Professor McGonagall replied. "Still, you did right to come and find me."  
>The two of them went up to the dormitory.<p>

"That is enough!" barked Professor McGonagall, and for a moment everyone fell silent. "I have never in all my years seen such disgraceful conduct!"

"Like getting pregnant?" said Pansy.

"That is _enough_!" said Professor McGonagall. Ger glasses were flashing in a way that said she was very angry. "Fifty points from Slytherin, and detention for all four of you!"

"You can't do that!" protested Daphne.

Professor McGonagall gave her a warning look. "I shall see you all four of you in detention."

She turned to Tracey.

"Have you been seeking any help or council on this?"

Tracey nodded. "I've been speaking a bit to Professor Sprout."

"Wise choice," she said.

Fed up with Blaise's cavalier attitude about this, Tracey cornered Blaise to confront him the next day.

"I told you I have no further interest in you," Blaise said.

"You honestly think I want _you_ after what you've done to me?" scoffed Tracey. "Wow, you really do have a high opinion of yourself." She wasn't going to back down, not this time. "It really doesn't matter to me if you want to hear what I have to say or not, you're going to listen to me," she said "You can act like you have no responsibility but the truth is you do!"

"Sorry for not wanting you to ruin my life," he said coldly.

"I ruined _your _life?" Tracey said incredulously. "Excuse me, are _you_ pregnant? Do you have your classmates whispering behind your back and sniggering at you and making comments about you?" Tracey asked. "I didn't think so. You seduced me, and I'm pregnant. This is _your _child whether you care or not, and it's time you took some responsibility!"

Easter arrived. Tracey was so relieved to have the chance to get away from everything. Her life at school was a mess now. Everything was starting to sink in more and more. Once in her bedroom, Tracey broke down in tears and just wanted to be left alone. Tracey's mother gave her daughter some privacy then went into her room and held her close and comforted her.

"I know things are rough and scary, but I'll be there for you," Tracey's mother said soothingly, as she held Tracey as she cried. "I love you, and I'll be there for you no matter what."

Tracey's mother arranged for another appointment with Madam Nurturessa.

"So how is she doing?"

"Well, on one hand, she's past the yelling and screaming and fighting part," said Tracey's mother. "On the others, the other Slytherin girls know and are making things really difficult, and her Head of House is doing nothing. I want to write that Snape a strongly worded letter, he calls himself a teacher?"

Madam Nurturessa sighed. "Some adults never get past teen years themselves."

"Doesn't look like Snape has," she muttered. "But Tracey said the Head of Hufflepuff is being helpful."

"Ahh, yes, Professor Sprout," said Madam Nurturessa. "My kids were all Hufflepuffs."

"Yeah, and of course Professor McGonagall is all over it, as is one of the Prefects, who's taken initiative to look out for Tracey."

"Professor McGonagall always was fair, and good for the Prefect for doing the right thing, your daughter needs all the help she can get at this point, and with you and her father's love and support she'll pull through. Teenagers are very resilient they can mess up in a thousand ways, yet somehow almost always come out OK."

A few days after Easter, Tracey had her second appointment.

"Have you been getting the right nourishments?" Madam Nurturessa asked Tracey.

"Yeah, I've been eating the right things," said Tracey.

"I take it Madam Pomfrey knows," said Madam Nurturessa.

"Yeah, she's the one who told me that I'm pregnant," replied Tracey.

She lied down and Madam Nurturessa waved the instrument over Tracey's stomach.

"We can see more clearly now," said Madam Nurturessa, handing the ultrasound to Tracey's mother and Tracey.

It was a boy.


	6. Chapter 5 Odd girl out

Chapter Five

"Slut."

"Easy."

"She's ruined her future for sure."

The whispers followed Tracey everywhere. Despite the fact that spring was here, she had little to be happy about because she was an outcast. The girls who she once considered "friends" and some other Slytherins had spread the news of Tracey's pregnancy all over the school, and everyone was whispering about it now.

Tracey spent most of her time either in the library away from her classmates or in the dormitory, and on weekends she tried to avoid eating with the rest of them if she could, to get away from her classmates, whenever they saw her they'd make crude comments about her. Blaise was one of the worst and he was the one who put her in that position!

"Looking for a step daddy?" Malfoy called out, as he and Blaise sniggered. Blaise was still refusing to accept any responsibility.

Fed up with Tracey taking all the blame, Laura pulled Blaise into a private classroom and confronted him

"Let me put this in plain English for you," Laura said one day. Her patience was clearly at its limit with his lack of concern for Tracey. "Did you seduce Tracey Davis?"

"Yes," he said casually.

"And you had sex with her?"

"Yes," he said again.

"And now she's pregnant, so you _are _the father, like it or not!" Laura told him.

"She's just a common half-blood," he said indifferently.

"You think you're so special," Laura said. "But you're not. You're just another arrogant, bigoted, self-centred, spoiled pureblood," she said. "_You_ are even more common than anyone and even less special than anyone, so watch it."

"I don't care about Tracey, she's just a dumb slut," he said. Laura's patience had absolutely run out with Blaise and her temper reached its boiling point. She slapped him across the face and glared at him. She left before she did anything else he might regret (or might cost her prefect position and how could she keep an eye on things if she lost her position).

"I know I shouldn't have gone that far, Professor," Laura said to Professor McGonagall, when McGonagall asked her if it was true. "I just snapped. I lost my temper. He has no respect, no ownership; he's just going about this whole business with no consequences, while Tracey is the one wearing the Scarlet Letter, and it takes two to get pregnant, so he should be facing the same amount of scorn, maybe more since he clearly took advantage of someone," she said.

"I do not blame you for being angry, and I agree with you, Miss Gamp," said Professor McGonagall.

Tracey meanwhile had other things on her mind. She was running through possible names for her baby and trying to think about how much baby clothes cost, and above all else, what she was going to do now. Abortion was out (not that she really wanted one anymore, she decided to go through with the pregnancy after her first appointment with Madam Nurturessa), but she had two other options. She could raise the baby, and be a mother, or she could give it up for adoption. She knew realistically she wasn't even close to ready to be a mother, she didn't know the first thing about babies, but to give it to someone else would be hard. She carried the baby, and brought it into the world. How could she hand it over to someone else?

"The decision is something only you can make yourself," Professor Sprout said when Tracey brought this up. "It's something you need to think about."

"I never thought it would be so complicated, to make this decision," Tracey admitted. "How I made such a mess of things?"

"Everyone makes mistake," Professor Sprout replied. "Find me someone who hasn't made mistakes, I'll give you my job."

Tracey had to laugh a bit.


	7. Chapter 6 Baby Mine

Chapter Six

Tracey mounted the Hogwarts Express and retreated to a compartment alone. It could not have been a stronger contrast to the beginning of the year, where she shared a compartment with her "friends" and they gossiped about boys. As Tracey left the train, she could see some people including a formidable-looking witch and a horse-faced Muggle giving her disapproving looks.

A few days after Tracey arrived home for summer, she had another appointment with Madam Nurturessa.

"Well, everything seems fine, baby appears healthy, in a head first position, at this point," said Madam Nurturessa as she looked at the picture of the ultrasound.

"That's good," said Tracey's mother.

"So the baby is due in about six weeks," said Madam Nurturessa. "But be on the alert, teen pregnancies carry a risk for premature labour."

"Is that likely to happen?" asked Tracey, looking scared.

"It's a risk, doesn't mean it will happen and at this point, the baby would be premature but viable outside the womb, odds are he would survive," Madam Nurturessa replied. "Just drink lots of fluid, and avoid stress. Get plenty of rest."

"Woah, he's grown," said Tracey, surprised at the size of the unborn baby.

"He has," agreed Madam Nurturessa. "You mentioned adoption was your first instinct last time, are you still thinking about adoption or have you decided to keep the baby?"

"I'm still thinking about adoption," Tracey replied. "It's just hard to imagine carrying a baby this long and giving him up."

Tracey's mother put her arm around her daughter.

"I know," said Madam Nurturessa. "Well, you can speak with the adoption agencies. Arrange meetings between couples wanting to adopt."

"Okay," said Tracey.

"At this point, I would suggest someone stay home at all times, just in case," said Madam Nurturessa.

The next day, Tracey's mother went over to the Dunstan Adoption Agency to arrange a meeting for Tracey.

"How old is your daughter?" asked Mr Dunstan.

"Fourteen, she'll be fifteen in November," replied Tracey's mother.

"Ah," said Mr Dunstan. "I feel for you, and your daughter. I have a teenager; she'll be sixteen in a few days. I can't imagine what I'd do if she got pregnant. It happens though, unfortunately. How is she coping?"

"She was angry at everyone at first, but settled down and has been trying her best to deal with it," replied Tracey's mother. "She's doing the best she can."

"It's tough," he said. "When these kids get pregnant, what it comes down to is they have to make a mature, adult type decision at a very young age. When is she due?"

"Six weeks, but we're on alert in case of early labour."

"Right. Well, I'll be over tomorrow afternoon to talk to her about it," he said.

"Okay, thanks," she said.

She returned home and told Tracey the adoption counsellor was coming over to talk to her about the adoption process.

"Are you sure this is what you want?" asked Tracey's mother. "Because it's completely your choice, and we don't want you do this because you think you've disappointed us and it's what we want or because you're doing it out of fear."

"No, I'm sure—or sure as possible," Tracey said.

"Whatever you decide, we support you." said Tracey's father. "You know that."

Tracey nodded then asked, "Do you think it's selfish?"

"What, giving the baby up for adoption?" asked Tracey's mother.

"Yeah," she said.

"Of course not, it's your choice, and I think it's a very unselfish decision, and a brave decision. You're doing what you think is best for the baby, and that's all we can ask," said Tracey's father.

Mr Dunstan arrived the next afternoon. Tracey wanted to look at least somewhat mature for a fourteen-year-old, so she could make a good impression on both him and any family she interviewed.

"Come in. We appreciate you coming over," said Tracey's father. "Tracey is upstairs."

Mr Dunstan went upstairs, Tracey's father followed.

"Hello again, thanks for coming over," said Tracey's mother, who was sitting next to her daughter.

"No problem," replied Mr Dunstan. Tracey set down the magazine she was loOkaying at and sat up.

"Have a seat, Mr Dustan," said Tracey's mother.

Mr Dunstan sat down on the couch opposite of Tracey and Tracey's mother.

"Hello, Tracey," said Mr Dunstan.

"Hi," Tracey said politely, feeling somewhat nervous.

"So, I know this isn't an easy decision so I'm here to explain the decision and hopefully put your mind at ease about the process for you and your baby," he said. "First off, you're fourteen, right?"

"Yeah," replied Tracey. "My birthday is in November."

"And when is your due date?" he asked.

"July twenty-fifth," replied Tracey.

"Boy or girl?" asked Mr Dunstan.

"A boy," she said.

"And this is your decision, right?"

"Yeah," said Tracey.

"We have made it clear to Tracey right from the start that nothing we feel on the subject should influence her decision," replied Tracey's mother. "That it is up to her, and her to make alone, and we want her to make what she feels is right for both her and this baby."

"Where is the father?" asked Mr Dunstan, though he knew the answer.

"Well, he's decided not to be part of this," said Tracey.

"I didn't know it was a choice," said Mr Dunstan.

"Yeah, I didn't either, must have missed the paper airplane memo," muttered Tracey's father, thinking of what he would like to do to the little punk who did this to his precious daughter.

"I told him I was pregnant, and he just said it wasn't his baby, and I confronted him just before Easter. I don't think he really cares," Tracey said.

"Okay," he said. "Now there are two types of adoption: closed adoption and open adoption," Mr Dunstan said, getting back on topic. "Closed adoption means the agency gets the say, it's unanimous and you don't have any contact with your baby or the adoptive family, if it's an open adoption, you choose the family, and have contact so you can visit your child, get pictures of him, etcetera."

"I think that one sounds good," said Tracey.

"Okay," said Mr Dunstan. "In that case, the families would come over here. You would talk to them, ask them a few questions and find out more about them, so you could decide what family is best for the baby, and arrange a counsellor will help you finalize the arrangements."

Tracey nodded.

"Once you've handed your baby over to the adoptive family, it's permanent, so be sure it's what you want," he advised her.

"I understand," said Tracey.

"The visitation arrangements can be made formal with a counsellor, or you can just agree informally with the family, if you want."

"This family that would adopt my baby- what kind of questions should I ask them?" asked Tracey

"Anything you feel important, things like their own family background and experience growing up is always a good place to start, views on family, things like that," replied Mr Dunstan

"Would it be inappropriate to ask why they can't have children of their own?" asked Tracey. "Or if they would treat a birth child different?"

"Not at all," said Mr Dunstan. "Nothing is out of bounds, it's your child they're raising, so you want to know all the facts before making a decision," he replied. "And your mother or father can help you interview the parents, if you want."

Tracey nodded. "Okay, that's probably a good idea."

"I'll give you a folder of some couples looking to adopt, and you can go from there," he said, handing her over the brochure.

"I'll send them an owl; telling them they have an appointment with you," he said. "What time is best for you?"

"It doesn't matter, now that school's out. We're home most of the time," said Tracey's mother

"Okay."

The first of the couples to visit were over a few days later. They were a conservative pureblood couple who wanted only a child with magic parents and grandparents.

"What bloodline is this baby?" asked the husband.

"Excuse me?" said Tracey, thinking that's not the first thing that should come to mind.

"You heard me," he said coolly.

"Well . . . I'm halfblood, but the baby will be pureblood . . . I guess," said Tracey, clearly uncomfortable. "His dad is pureblooded."

"All right," said the wife with a note of slight disappointment.

"I thought Tracey was the one asking the questions," Tracey's father pointed out. "It's her baby you want to adopt."

"What are your views on things like discipline?" Tracey asked.

"They talk back they get a silencing jinx," said the wife.

"Any sass, and he'd be subject to a stinging hexes right where it counts," said the husband.

"Parents need absolute control over their child; you don't gain their respect if . . ."

"Okay, Okay, thank you!" said Tracey, and she and her parents saw them to the door. She wondered why anyone would choose them for parents. They were scary.

The other couple was nice enough but eccentric, and didn't really convince Tracey that they were right for adoptive parents. She wanted her child to have a more grounded start with a normal family, as opposed to living as bohemians with eccentric beliefs.

The next couple was an extremely wealthy, with more than enough money to give Tracey's baby lots of material goods. They came in wearing furs and diamonds, and designer dragon hide boots.

"We would give him anything he wants, he'd live like royalty with us," the husband told the Davises.

"He _would _be royalty after all," said the wife.

In her mind, Tracey pictured her son growing up selfish, spoiled with no concern or empathy for anyone using people, especially women. The baby would grow up to be just like someone she already knew: his father, who had put her in this situation in the first place! That was the _last _thing Tracey wanted, there was no way she would want her baby to be anything like his father! Maybe Pansy or Cecilia would have chosen them, but not Tracey!

"Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all," Tracey sighed after the interview. "Is it so much to ask for any, oh, _normal _couples who want to adopt? Maybe I am best just to keep the baby and raise it myself."

"If you're having second thoughts and decide to keep this baby, it's up to you," said Tracey's mother. "But we still have one last couple to interview. If none of them are suitable, and you still want to keep him, then you can."

"I'm trying," said Tracey. "I'm not asking for much."

"We know you're trying, Tracey. There are normal couples out there," said Tracey's father.

The last couple was Alexander and Emily Phillips. Emily had two miscarriages, and had given birth to a stillborn baby two years ago. They had a daughter of their own, but all three children they had lost were boys, and they wanted a son as well. They felt adoption was their best option.

"Thank you for seeing us," Emily said to Tracey's mother. "We appreciate it."

"Thank you for coming, Tracey is downstairs," Tracey's mother replied.

They went downstairs where Tracey was waiting.

"Hi, Tracey," said Alexander.

"Hello," Tracey replied politely.

They sat down and started talking.

"First off, we just want to say we really appreciate that you're willing to consider us as parents, and we feel for you," said Emily.

"This can't be easy for you, to carry a child then give it up to someone else," said Alexander. "We sympathize one hundred percent with what you're going through"

"Thank you," said Tracey, thinking maybe she'd finally come across the right couple.

They began the interview.

"How long have you been married?" Tracey asked them.

"Six years," replied Alexander.

"How many children do you have?" asked Tracey.

"Just one daughter," replied Alexander. "She's four."

"Why are you interested in adoption?" asked Tracey.

"I've had two miscarriages, and also a stillborn baby, all of them were boys," said Emily. "There are medicines out there but at this point, I feel that adoption is our best option, plus we always said we'd have a child of our own and also adopt one if we could."

"How do you handle conflict?" asked Tracey's father.

"We don't fight a lot, and we try to avoid fighting in front of our children," replied Alexander.

"Children learn what they grow up with, if they see conflict, they learn conflict," said Emily.

"How would you feel about Tracey visiting the baby?" asked Tracey's mother.

"We could give you an address if you wanted and send pictures," replied Emily.

"We could work something out, I'm sure," said Alexander.

"Would you treat this child any different from your biological child?" asked Tracey.

"Absolutely not," replied Alexander.

"What about views on discipline?" Tracey's father asked.

"Well, if the child acts out, we'd discipline him, things like time out and such. Nothing drastic," Emily assured Tracey.

They asked a few more questions. When the interview was finished, Tracey reached her decision.

"Before you came, I was having serious second thoughts about this whole adoption bit," she said.

"It's understandable," said Alexander.

"Yeah," said Tracey. "Well, I don't any more. I think you guys are great, I want you to have my baby."

"Thank you so much," said Emily.

The family thanked the Davis family and left.

"So you've made your decision?" asked Tracey's father.

"Yes," Tracey said. "I think they're by far the best to raise my baby."

"Okay, as long as you're sure," said Tracey's mother. "I'll write to Mr Dunstan and tell him you've reached a decision."

Tracey did her best to follow Madam Nurturessa's advice by resting and avoiding stress. She also spent much of her time looking up names for her baby. Some names she quite liked others she ruled out quickly.

The baby's due date was fast approaching. In just a few weeks, he would be here.

.


	8. Chapter 7 Beautiful Boy

Chapter 7

Tracey was only four weeks away from her due date. She spent most of the time trying to rest and take it easy. It was all she had the energy to do. This pregnancy took a lot out of her, more than she was expecting (thought if there was a plus side, at least her chores had been cut down somewhat). Tracey had one final appointment and check up with Madam Nurturessa. She was definitely feeling nervous about the baby coming now.

"Looking good. Head down position, gaining weight," said Madam Nurturessa. "He's ready very soon; we're getting to the home stretch now. After this week, you're at 37 weeks and from there onwards, it's full term."

"I'll be glad when this is over and he's finally here, for more than one reason," said Tracey, looking at the picture of the baby. "I'm waiting awhile after this before I get involved with guys again, and definitely waiting a _very _long time before I have any more children."

"I'm sure," said Madam Nurturessa.

Tracey was in bed that night. She was having some trouble sleeping because of pain in her back, so she went to the kitchen to get a glass of water. She was feeling a bit shivery for some reason, though it was a warm July night. Tracey felt something trickle down her leg so she got up and went to the bathroom, but she could still feel it. Panicking, she ran into her parents' room.

"Mum!" she whispered, shaking her mother. "Mum, wake up!"

Tracey's mother woke up right away and sat up. Tracey's father also turned over.

"What's wrong, sweetie?" asked Tracey's mother.

"I'm not sure. .but I think my water just broke," said Tracey. "I was having these back pains and was having trouble sleeping, and I felt this trickle. I went to the bathroom but it was still there!"

"OK, OK," said Tracey's mother. "Just stay calm, Tracey, it sounds like the baby is coming."

"But it's not due for another four weeks! It's not even full term yet!" said Tracey, starting to panic. "AARGH!" she cried as she felt the first contraction.

"At this point it's only slightly preterm, so odds are it will be fine," Tracey's mother said reassuringly, as she helped Tracey into the living room.

"I'll get some blankets," said Tracey's father.

"Maybe you can contact Madam Nurturessa, too. Tell her the baby's on its way," suggested Tracey's mother. Tracey's father ran over to write to Madam Nurturessa and let her know the baby was coming, and then ran back with some blankets. Madam Nurturessa was still in her nightgown and dressing coat; she apparated outside the door. He let her in.

"Thanks for coming," he said.

"No problem. Where is Tracey?" she asked.

"In the living room; she said her water broke, so she went to wake up Vivien," said Tracey's father.

Tracey's mother was coaching Tracey through the labour.

"Tracey?" said Madam Nurturessa. "Are you OK?"

"I'll be better when this is over," Tracey replied. "Is it almost over?"

"No, it's just started," said Madam Nurturessa.

Tracey's father left and returned with some hot packs and cold packs.

"Here, this might help," he said.

"Good thinking," said Tracey's mother, she put the hot pack gently on Tracey's abdomen. She then placed the cold pack on Tracey's back to relieve the pain.

"It helped with you. So it just jumped back to memory," said Tracey's father.

Tracey's mother and Madam Nurturessa helped Tracey get through the labour while Tracey's father watched on and supplied fresh blankets. Tracey did as her mother and Madam Nurturessa told her to do. Finally after sixteen hours (and what, to Tracey, felt like forever) the baby was born. The baby had slightly dark skin from Blaise, but the little bit of hair was curly like Tracey. Its eyes were dark brown, and Tracey wondered if they would stay brown or change into hazel, like her eyes.

"He's here!" said Tracey's mother as the baby cried loudly. Madam Nurturessa gently cut the umbilical cord and washed him, then handed him to Tracey.

"He's beautiful," said Tracey's father.

"He's perfectly healthy. I guess he was just in a bit of a hurry," said Madam Nurturessa.

Tracey couldn't take her eyes off the newborn baby boy. It was the most beautiful and cutest baby she had ever seen, and her heart was full of love for him. How could she have ever considered him a nuisance? At the same time, her heart was filling with sadness and guilt knowing she wasn't going to be keeping him. This baby deserved a good life, and good parents, and Tracey couldn't fulfill that role.

A bit later in the day, the Phillipses and their daughter, Chloe, arrived to bring the baby home.

"I'm getting a bwothew!" Chloe kept squealing when they arrived.

"Yes, sweetie," said Emily, smiling. "You are. Remember, be gentle. Newborns are very delicate."

The Phillipses walked into the living room.

"This is Chloe, she's been excited since we told her we were adopting a baby boy," said Alexander.

"Hi, sweetie," said Tracey's father. "Tracey is in the living room, with her mother spending time with the baby."

Mr Dunstan introduced himself to the couple, and spoke to them. Tracey's father went upstairs.

"Tracey," he said softly. "Sweetheart, the Phillipses are here."

"OK," Tracey said.

Mr Dustan and the Phillips family walked in.

"Hey," she said. "Is she your daughter?"

"Yep, this is Chloe," said Alexander.

"Hey, Chloe," said Tracey's mother, and Chloe pretended to be coy.

"She's definitely not shy, don't be fooled," said Emily.

"Are you ready?" Mr Dunstan asked Tracey gently. Tracey nodded.

"Yeah, or as ready as I'll ever be," she said, and carefully handed the newborn over to Emily, feeling that by doing so a part of her was being handed over as well.

"He's so beautiful," said Emily.

"Does he have a name?" asked Alexander.

"I was thinking of Brendan for his name, but it's your choice," Tracey replied.

"Brendan . . . that's a nice name, I think we'll stay with that name," said Emily.

"It means 'prince'," Tracey told them.

"Hey there," Emily cooed at Brendan who was looking around innocently.

"Thank you so much. We promise we'll keep in touch and keep you updated as much as possible," said Alexander.

"Look after yourself," said Emily, smiling at Tracey and putting her hand gently on Tracey's shoulder.

As they turned to leave Chloe turned and went over to Tracey.

"Thank you for the baby bwothew," she said, giving Tracey a hug.

"You're welcome," said Tracey, hugging Chloe back.

Tracey watched with a heavy heart as the Phillipses left with her baby. That would be his life and his home from now on.


	9. Chapter 8 Epilogue

**Lost Innocence**

Part 8

It was the last month of summer. For Tracey, it was without a doubt the worst summer and the worst time she had ever gone through. Everything seemed to have gone horribly wrong. Blaise, who she thought was her boyfriend, had used her only to seduce her and sleep with her then had dumped her, leaving her pregnant and alone. The girls whom she believed were her friends turned on her without hesitation and had spread the news of her pregnancy all over, and she had hardly anyone to look out for her.

How had she made such a mess of her life?

"Despite all that's happened, and I know this year was really hard for you, I want you know that we're both proud of you," said Tracey's mother sitting next to Tracey on the couch.

"You are?" asked Tracey, trying to think why.

"Yes," said Tracey's mother.

"Giving the baby up for adoption is not an easy decision to make," said Tracey's father, taking a seat on Tracey's other side. "It requires a lot of maturity and it's not a decision many people could do, most probably couldn't do it."

"W hat kind of life would he have had with me?" asked Tracey. "I don't have any idea how to even change a baby's diaper, never mind care for a child. I'd have to have pretty much dropped out of school, find some kind of job—and what kind of jobs are open for fourteen-year-olds, anyway—and devote it to him, I wasn't ready to do that," she said. "And if I did go back to school, you guys would wind up taking care of it, and that's not right either."

"I know, but not a lot of kids your age are able to see that, they don't really see how it will affect everyone," said Tracey's mother. "It's easy to get caught up in how cute the baby is or your own emotions and decide based on that, instead of looking at the big picture."

Overall, Tracey felt depressed and very much alone. She didn't really have any friends anymore, and the truth was she never really did. But did she really want Pansy and her gang in her life? They had shown their true colours and they were spiteful and shallow and made life miserable. Tracey didn't want to be like that. Not anymore. She definitely now had a taste of what it was like to be an outcast. It definitely had given her more empathy for other students. When school started, Tracey would have to start her fourth year from scratch. She would have to start all over again.

The baby was with the Phillipses, and Tracey was confident that he would be happy there. Giving him up was harder than she ever imagined it would be. Certainly, he would have a better life than he could ever have if she had kept him. Babies were cute, but a lot of work. Tracey would be up all night feeding, changing diapers, and burping him. She would also have to drop out of Hogwarts and give up all her dreams and goals and dedicate her life to him which was a tall order. Either that or she'd still go to school and her parents would wind up looking after Brendan instead of her. Either way, Brendan and Tracey's parents would be picking up the tab for her mistake. Whatever mistakes Tracey's parents made, it wasn't fair for them to have to do the work for her, and it wouldn't be fair to Brendan to be with a mother who didn't have any idea where to start. Despite the bad attitude she gave them, Tracey's parents still stood by her, and Tracey had to admit maybe her parents weren't all that bad. They weren't perfect parents by any means, but they weren't horrible parents either. If nothing else, they loved her unconditionally, and she knew that no matter what happened, no matter how bad things were or how badly she messed up, at least she'd still have a place to go, and someone to turn to. That's all that really mattered.


End file.
